yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
