Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
