mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
