He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
