After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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