So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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