meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
