What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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