You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
