so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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