Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
