I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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