I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
zippers are such a cool invention
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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