So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
