Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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