I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
