Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Randomize
