Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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