I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
