Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Can I color on your dick again?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
