what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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