i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
