I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
