so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
