You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
