Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
