Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
