you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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