I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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