dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize
