Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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