so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
