were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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