What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
