you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
