Girls should come with a carfax report
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
