That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
soo... how was my night?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
