It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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