I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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