please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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