I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
