right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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