do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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