how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
