guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
