so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
