Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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