she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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