Cold hands, warm shart.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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