I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
