you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize