Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
