That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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