Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
