I hate your face
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
