I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
