Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
only if we run a train.
done.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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