question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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