I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
