Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
