someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
