the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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