she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
