What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
honey bunches of taint.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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