Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
